Lighten up!

There was this guy who went to the local Baptist church. He went down to the new Barbershop one day for a shave. As he was sitting in the chair, the barber said ” didn’t I see you down at the church last Wednesday night?” “Why yes” said the customer. It turned out that they both were going to the same church.

The customer said to the barber, ” I want a real good shave now, OK?”

The Barber got through and told the man it would be $20.00 for the shave. The customer thought “my goodness that is a lot for a shave”, but at the risk of offending his new found Brother, he reluctantly paid.

The next morning, the man got up and went in to get ready to go to work. He looked in the mirror and to his amazement, he didn’t need to shave. The next morning the man got up and went to get ready for work. “WOW! How can this be!”, he thought, when again he didn’t need to shave. On the third day after his visit to the barber, the man woke up again to find his face was as smooth as the first day. By now he was thinking that maybe he was wrong and needed to repent for thinking so wrong of his Brother, the barber. On the fourth day, when he woke up to find the same results, he rushed off to the barbershop.

“Brother, please forgive me”, the man said when he got into the shop. “I thought you charged me too much for my shave when I was here the other day”. The Barber looked at him with forgiving eyes and said, ” That’s all right Brother, you know what they say, “Once shaved, always shaved”!

The Joy of the Lord is your strength! SO LAUGH !!!

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7 Comments

Filed under apologetics, Bible, Christianity, faith, family, God, humor, Jesus, religion, Uncategorized

7 responses to “Lighten up!

  1. IWanthetruth

    Jock, the painter, often would thin his paint so it would go further. So when the Church decided to do some deferred maintenance, Jock was able to put in the low bid, and got the job. As always, he thinned his paint way down with turpentine.

    One day while he was up on the scaffolding — the job almost finished — he heard a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky opened.

    The downpour washed the thinned paint off the church and knocked Jock off his scaffold and onto the lawn among the gravestones and puddles of thinned and worthless paint.

    Jock knew this was a warning from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried: “Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?”

    And from the thunder, a mighty voice: “REPAINT! REPAINT! AND THIN NO MORE!”

  2. lbolm

    HaHAAA !
    Yes, repaint and thin no more!
    Good one Iwant!

  3. IWanthetruth

    Revival

    After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another.
    The Methodist minister said, “The revival worked out great for us! We gained four new families.”
    The Baptist preacher said, “We did better than that! We gained six new families.”
    The Presbyterian pastor said, “Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble makers!”

  4. Jake

    During a recent Sunday service the Pastor told the congregation that “Today we are going to have a little Song Service”. He said “I will call out a word and whoever comes up with a song first, we will sing it”.
    The Pastor said “Grace” and almost immediately someone said ” Amazing Grace”. So they sang it.
    The Pastor said “Blood” and someone said “Washed in the Blood”. So they sang it.
    The Pastor said “Power” and someone said ” There’s Power in the Blood”. So they sang it.

    Then the Pastor said ” Sex” and the church grew very silent. Then from the back of the church, an 87 year old grandma shouted out “Precious Memories”

  5. IWanthetruth

    The Great Dentist
    A dentist came home to his wife excited about the day’s events. He had met a fellow dentist who had served in the mission field using his dental skills.

    He began, “Marge, I think the Lord wants me to work with the poor in Central America. They are in great need of dental care.”

    “Dear husband, it isn’t civilized down there. I’ve heard that they have cockroaches the size of bats. And no running water.”

    “Marge, the Lord will provide for our needs and we will be able help people who really need us. Bedsides, I am sure the Lord is calling me to do this.”

    “How do you know the Lord is calling you to do this?”

    “Well, I just feel it, and it’s in the Bible.”

    “In the Bible? What verse?”

    “Let me get it for you. It’s from Psalms 81:

    ‘I, the LORD, am your God, Who brought you up from the land of Egypt; Open your mouth wide and I will fill it. (Psalms 81:10, NASB)'”

  6. IWanthetruth

    A child came home from Sunday School and told his mother that he had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly. It took his mother a while before she realized that the hymn was really “Gladly The Cross I’d Bear,”

    ———————————————————
    One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,
    “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?” The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
    “I can’t dear,” she said.
    “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.” A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
    “The big sissy.”

  7. IWanthetruth

    Ahhh … One more

    Cost of a Sermon
    One beautiful Sunday morning, a priest announced to his congregation: “My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons…a $100 sermon that lasts five minutes, a $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes, and a $10 sermon that lasts a full hour.

    “Now, we’ll take the collection and see which one I’ll deliver.”

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